It’s me again
Your little talking friend
From the planet in your head
Like to propose a toast
To the humble host
Of all the crazy shit
That’s been running through my yard
It’s been a while
since we’ve felt like this
a lot of lingering love
from a literary kiss
It’s got me thinking
and I’m thirsty for more
of singing “doo doo doo”
looking out my back door
is that a flying car?
maybe you’ve gone too far
or maybe it doesn’t matter
not a DeLorean
Maybe I’ll get me one
when I’m making fat checks
writing for TV
there’s killer robots there
they’re flying through the air
and mopping up rebel meatbags
they’re not the only ones
’cause blotting out the sun
is an all-consuming ooze
made from future processed foods!
I know it’s crazy but just give it time
while purple plant people plot
to plunder your mind,
until they’re Roundup Ready
and we’re runnin’ to shore
a-singin “doo doo doo”
looking out my back door
(cue the face melting guitar solo)
(outro riff with some tribal tom beats)
singing “doo doo doo”
looking out my back door
There you go. I wrote you a song, bringing back the nostalgia of 90’s alternative pop (if you hear it the way I do, something akin to Jimmy Eat World) with a little nod to Creedence.
A while back, Rob was bitten; not by a radioactive spider but by an idea to post a weekly article about a few songs that he really likes. There are so many possibilities that the series could go on forever, and so Saturday Jams was born.
It’s been a little while since I hit the keys looking to post Saturday Jams; in fact, I’m almost certain it’s been over a year. Times of late have been turned upside-down in the Clan Ross household as a project to remodel the downstairs bathroom went from a pie-in-the-sky single weekend to a multi-week project involving all the snags and complications that Murphy’s Law has been willing to throw at us. Still persistent, ever intrepid, we now surge forward full steam with the project, as yesterday we laid the subfloor, screwed up sheetrock, did some taping and mudding, and made plans to hide the fact that the corner for the shower is nowhere near square.
So this morning I have been inspired to diversion, and as I have long believed there are few better diversions than writing. The truth is, Saturday Jams has been held up by a lack of time to brainstorm and research the list of musical topics I have at hand, but today I have a few fresh gems that have turned up as if by magic, as though the Universe is pushing me — exhorting me — to get back to writing sweetly phrased copy about all the lovely music the world isn’t trying to shovel down your throat!
And as the remodeling carries on, in the spirit of remodeling, I figure it’s good to talk about taking something old and turning it into something new. It’s a curse for all budding musicians out there that most of them out there start out not knowing how to make their own songs. You pick up an instrument, and you learn to play it bit by bit, either on your own or with friends, or by taking lessons. All of these are good things, although I feel that learning to read traditional sheet music at the beginning of instruction can cripple your ability to improvise. A lot of great musicians learn to play by ear!
So as beginners, most musicians play the songs they already know, and although some get together specifically to form cover bands, most of them don’t plan to get famous playing covers. The Interwebs strike again, however, to say that the old paradigm is not the new. YouTube spreads hot covers like crazy, and the next thing you know, that post on Facebook that some middle-aged friend just thinks is cool to share is actually a type of commentary on how the old structures have been broken down and they refuse to admit it.
Commercial music is mostly bunk anymore, I say, and even those artists like to use the old songs to make new.
On the other hand, Steve’n’Seagulls is a band from Finland (I think) that looks like Appalachia and plays some of the best songs in a way that makes them fresh again. Every member of this band is infested with rhythm, and they feature the tightest folk instrumentation I have ever seen, enthusiastically playing the most out-of-character songs, which is a recipe for awesomeness.
Then, hailing from the luscious, surfable shores of Croatia (okay, maybe not the shores — I don’t know, but I had to mention them) are cellists Luka Sulic and Stjepan Hauser, who seem to play whatever the heck they want and rock off the roof with it. They are known as 2CELLOS and their website states that “2CELLOS have no limits when it comes to performing live and are equally as impressive when playing Bach and Vivaldi as they are when rocking out AC/DC.”
They provide effortless proof with a segue from Rossini to Iron Maiden. You’re gonna love this:
. . . indubitably, a tutorial on how to destroy a cello bow; one wonders how much of their budget is dedicated to replacing them.
Understand that I just want to post one video per artist, and if you like them you can click through to their website or hit YouTube to find more. Or, you can do what I do: watch the first one and keep clicking on another at the end until you realize you’ve just watched about a dozen different artists already; this is how I discover them. But each time I put a video on this page, it’s because it’s possibly more awesome than the video I had picked out before, but I was tempted into watching another.
Does that make me a sucker?
The final piece, a push to get off the page but not a decision made in haste, features Hawaiian ukulele virtuoso Jake Shimabukuro playing a Beatles cover. It’s not a “fun” video like the other two, but that doesn’t mean this guy’s talent didn’t blow me away, and he has published 13 albums since 2002. It makes me wish I had the time to pull my ukulele down from the wall more often:
I’ve got to make the time, that’s all there is to it.
As I finish this, I realize that this isn’t the first Saturday Jams to feature cover songs; almost two years ago I published How to re-make it in the Biz. If you need more tunes for your fix, there’s a couple more videos for you there.
Just remember that when it comes to making music, the only limitations are in the mind — no instrument, no song, no note is sacred. Truth is related by the artist who just serves it up in their own voice, with their own hands and the instrument in them.
Now I must go work on my bathroom — before and after photos yet to come.
You probably shouldn’t watch this because after a while it looks like Bach is looking right into your soul and mining your thoughts like the NSA on spice melánge. Plus it clocks in at two hours and change, but it does make some nice background music if you leave it up while you do housework or something.
This week I’m trying something new by taking a page from Juls the Indecisive Eejit and writing a newsletter-style format. If it works out, I may make it a weekly feature using material that I aggregate throughout the week – effortless sharing at its best. If you want to be part of the process, feel free to drop some feedback in the comment stream so I know . . . you know – whether you care, what works, what doesn’t, etc.
You may remember that I took Tuesday off to interview for a job; it was for a position as a railroad carman for BNSF railroad, who runs all the rails in the United States west of the Mississippi. In fact, I felt like I bombed that interview and I must have been on to something, because the very next day I received an email saying that I was not selected to go forward with the hiring process.
I always felt that it was cold and impersonal to replace a face-to-face interview with the personality tests that you see a lot of employers using nowadays; the moment they started doing this (I remember as far back as the late 90’s, when Blockbuster video started using computer kiosks for hiring,) the chance that I would be able to choose my employer began to slide downward. They emphasize teamwork and minimize risk, which sounds like a good thing on the face of it; but they also shut out introverts and individualistic workers who are able to work on their own at a faster pace than in a team, where they tend to get a lot less done and must rely on others for success. I’m pretty flexible, though, and I’ve learned how to answer these tests. In fact, I just laid out the secret for you.
How much colder is it, then, to have prospective employees sit in front of three people; two of them asking the very same questions that were already answered on the test I took online, while the third one typed away at a laptop. The pace was fairly easy, but my mind was blank. It may be the first time I’ve ever suffered from test anxiety. They asked me the same questions I had already answered, and I experienced the most epic fail.
So say goodbye to face-to-face interviews! Because where I thought I was being given a chance to talk about my experiences at my current job and my expectations for the job for which I was applying, all I got was an online test streamed directly through analog devices; and in the face of this ironic and anachronistic melding of paradigms old and new, I floundered for purchase and was washed out to sea.
For a moment I felt like I was being rained on. Again. I felt like my whole life was this same story of rejection. (See Daily Tanka 2014.05.21)
I realized that these hiring practices, and this specific incident, were closing doors to me forever. (See Oh, The Places I’d Go!)
Then I realized the next day that a great weight had lifted; this was one less complication in my life, one less thing to manage – one loose end tied up for good. Not having any tension between the job I held and the job I desired, I was free to realize that in spite of the few (albeit strong) reservations I have about remaining at my current place of employment I am rather quite happy (See Daily Tanka 2014.05.22) and now my most immediate concern is something quite exciting indeed: Clan Ross’ Summer Surf Adventure. Two weeks driving to the Pacific coast. Seattle. Portland. Surfing in Seaside, Oregon!
I’ll gladly take my time doing that, and then I’ll find my footing and forge a new path forward. (See Daily Tanka 2014.05.23)
Current Conditions –>
You may have noticed that I’ve switched from haiku to tanka for my daily “status update”. I indicated earlier that I burned out on haiku, and I think it’s because I can’t force myself to write in so short a form without inspiration – that “haiku moment”. When the right image comes along, that helps; and when something just strikes you, that’s perfect; but the tiniest inspirations are like motes of dust and can be a little tough to catch on a daily basis, so the tanka format gives me a little more room to breathe, and presents a new challenge: the turning phrase of the third line, much as the human body’s core muscles links the upper and lower body, serves as a link between the upper lines and lower lines, creating two complementary yet contrasting poetic statements that when worked correctly will provide a clever sort of juxtaposition. In fact, the original creation of haiku was an exercise that focused on the first portion of tanka, the kaminoku. If you’re interested, you can read more about Tanka on Wikipedia or take a look at A Quick Start Guide to Writing Tanka @ Tanka Online.
Recently the site has taken on a new theme and a new look, and I’m still trying to find time to get all the little knobs and dials set right. Since I’m no longer using the ubiquitous Twenty Fourteen theme, the featured image barely comes into play, and it’s possible that those are generated for the thumbnails from images in the respective posts. If this bears out then I might stop using single images to serve as a visual cue to what type of post I’m writing. As always, if you experience any thoughts or feelings about the site’s look, feel, and utility, you are more than welcome to chime in; I will take all input into consideration – I create the site, but you actually use it!
Also, I’m planning to change up the surfboard social media icons as soon as I have a chance; While the Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest ones work for me, I have to wonder whether Spotify is a good choice for the fourth. I’m going to take that one out for the time being because I haven’t been able to figure out if people can access a playlist without an account, let alone single tracks; plus there’s some controversy surrounding Spotify and I haven’t been curating much content through Spotify. In fact, I just got around to pinning more stuff in the past week. I’m seriously considering doing a Youtube surfboard and making some playlists of different surf videos and muppet videos; just some different stuff to build a presence and start curating interesting content in that area. For the moment, I think that might be a little more useful. In terms of music, I think Soundcloud might be a better option.
What do you think, would you consider Soundcloud as a viable option for curating audio content? Is there something better that doesn’t cost money? Something that’s more accessible? Can you think of any other services that might be of interest to us? Let us know about that in the comments.
I’m looking forward to reviewing a CD of surf music that was recently recorded by a local garage band in Spokane, Washington. When I get my hands on the tunes I’m going to give it a listen (or ten) and then do a full write-up, so stay tuned for that – I have a feeling it’s going to be awesome!
Favorited Tweets of the Week –>
I’m not knocking anyone who favorites all the retweets they get, but I tend to reserve my own retweets for things that I find really interesting for one reason or another, and I do that for one reason: you can list it. On Twitter, we have this link on our profile page that shows how many tweets we have favorited all time; the @robssurfreport count currently stands at 101. I have a few from the recent past, and this goes back more than a week, but moving forward I’ll find more favorites to share. At any rate, most of these tweets speak for themselves, so I’ll keep the commentary to a minimum:
"My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness." ~Dalai Lama #quotes
Like I said, I’ve started curating content on Pinterest in a fandangled process the kids are calling “pinning”. I’ve started doing this in fits and bursts, and I really need to clean up my pinboard selection. A lot of my recent pins have been in the category of fitness because of my drive to be as fit as possible for surfing, but here’s an overall selection of recent pins. If you’re doing the Pinterest, follow my boards to get my pins in your feed!
For the fitness-conscious: I found the site neilarey.com a while back with this Jedi workout, but upon further exploration it turns out that there are tons of unique workouts there that can be filtered by workout type and body area focus; as well as challenges, programs, tips, recipes, and more.
Great commentary on personal motivation in the form of an Oatmeal comic (once you click through, beware the F-word.)
I’ve been experimenting with chia pudding recently; I’ve figured out a thicker, custardy consistency can be obtained by increasing the chia to 1/3 cup.
If you’re out there pinning, in addition to following Rob’s Surf Report (hint hint) make sure you send us any cool pins we might want to pin to our own boards. 🙂
Featured Blog –>
This week’s featured blog is a new addition to my must-read list. TK from Chapter TK was the guest on the premier episode of The Kenny & Kylie Show podcast, and so I jaunted over to check it out. She writes mostly long-form posts about “the ins and outs of society”. According to TK’s About page:
Society is always evolving and we can choose to help guide it or just roll with the punches. No good change just happens. It requires the thought and action of the masses. TK aims to foster healthy, civil discussion on some of today’s most controversial topics as well as issues that people rarely consider.
The most striking thing about Chapter TK, in contrast to many blogs that I follow, is that her posts tend to inspire me to write inordinately long comments that could probably stand as posts of their own; this is a testament to the thought-provoking power of TK’s musings. This blog is most definitely an enriching addition to anyone’s reader feed; this blog comes highly recommended.
This week’s song was one I discovered on this post @ The Indecisive Eejit. Fireflies by Owl City is a really pleasant song that speaks of me the magic of nature at night. I’d never heard of either group or song before, but my wife has; “It’s a little poppy,” Mme. Ross says, uncritically; to which I respond, “well isn’t everything nowadays?” There’s nothing wrong with pop in general, especially since there’s no accounting for taste in music and oh yeah — pop is the new rock. Any way you look at it, you’re still picking your battles. This is a great song.
The video, however, is the cake; or maybe I just say that because I am such a visual person. Standing here, watching it again while dancing with my daughter, I note that the imagery consists largely of Toys of Great Distinction — oldies but goodies, that multiple generations can appreciate as toys from their own youth. There’s tube televisions, a globe of the Earth, and he’s even playing the song on an older electric organ. It’s a throwback to days of our youth, when everything seemed so magical and life moved at a snail’s pace.
I’d like to make myself believe
that Planet Earth turns slowly
As we get older and the world develops apace, that pace seems to get faster and faster. A year goes by in a heartbeat, it would seem, and the things that were of great importance to us lie in the dust of memory, a thing we find remarkable when we notice it.
Put together, the song and video are a brilliant fusion of contrasted yet complementary ideas; so full of brilliance and motion, yet imparting a sense of peace and thoughtfulness. Together, they are haiku.
There, I said it; now watch:
Video of the Week –>
Last night while Mme. Ross was at some sort of high-falutin’ jewelry party, Little Miss and I were sitting at the dinner table enjoying a wonderful repast of cheddar cheese, cherry tomatoes, summer sausage, lunch meat, quinoa, and the not-to-be-missed Daily Show with John Stewart. We watch it on Hulu Plus, so we are always a day behind, and this was Thursday’s episode. What really blew me away is the history behind the government’s treatment of miltary veterans, which has — as you will learn — not always to the benefit of those who gave up much to serve our country, leaving us with this very appropriate quote:
“On this Memorial Day weekend eve, we can finally admit that America has had for over 200 years a great bipartisan tradition of honoring those who have fought for our freedom by f***ing them over once they give their guns back”
That’s it! I hope you enjoyed this Surf Report as much as I enjoyed putting it together. I hope also that you have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend, with barbecues and family fun or just rest — you deserve it. May you find peace in your life as well as your own path forward. If you would kindly help me out by answering the poll below, that would be awesome.
A while back, Rob was bitten; not by a radioactive spider but by an idea to post a weekly article about a few songs that he really likes. There are so many possibilities that the series could go on forever, and so Saturday Jams was born.
Of course, nothing lasts forever, and the demands of work and life brought the whole thing to a standstill. But the ideas keep coming, and coming back to the keyboard for Saturday Jams becomes a matter of pushing the sludgy old will into motion once more, and so the wheel turns . . .
Let me start by saying that music discovery has never been my strong suit. Recently, I’ve had some help in this area; I usually work in absolute silence because it never occurs to me to put some noise on in the background while I’m doing things. What makes this worse is that at my job I am required to wear earplugs for most of that ten-hour stretch, which cuts me off from sound — and consequently, the ability to relate fluidly with my co-workers and my environment.
I have started to turn some of this around, however, by listening to music online via some popular streaming services, because I get bored pretty fast without variety. My musical love was reborn out of the heat death of the alternative wave when I finally discovered The Beatles’Abbey Road (years after everyone I’ve ever known got over it,) and I carried this album in my heart to North Dakota with me in 2008. Some time later I fell in love with The Decemberists‘ The King is Dead, which was a fantastic album about going back to our folk roots — not just with music but in many aspects of life. Then when I started fooling around with Spotify (gasp, oh no I said Spotify! [that’s a touchy subject to some]) I discovered this fantastic album by a band called Imagine Dragons: Night Visions. Every song was different, every one of them as hooky as Velcro and so sing-alongable.
That’s the essential palette I’m working with, and so recently I’ve been striking out on musical adventure by listening to Pandora in the car; it wasn’t long before my Imagine Dragons station turned up some songs that drew me. A lot of music by The Killers, which I thought was quite appropriate but nothing new. Thumbs up. Then there’s that new song by Philip Phillips, I think it’s called Home? But after listening to more of his stuff, I thought he might be less to my taste — as in, that’s the only song I heard that really appealed to me. I’d just as well call him Vanilla Phillips, no offense!
I hate to say it, but I’m picky, and I look for those albums that have several really strong songs on them. After Abbey Road, The King is Dead, and Night Visions, how could I not be spoiled by these incredibly cohesive and dynamite sets? Then I discovered this song:
(I highly recommend watching the official VEVO video here – apparently we’re not allowed to embed VEVO on WordPress anymore, but even the skilled live performance below falls short of the chills I get from the official video.)
When I went to listen to more, I found the American Authors album Oh, What a Life to be full of positive energy, with enough variety to satisfy even my finicky palate. Recommended. Since listening to both of their albums, Spotify has been pushing me to branch out, so I figure: why not?
I was sucked in by the strange energy of a band called Fitz and the Tantrums. What is this guy selling? He’s got a voice straight out of the 80’s pop era, playing music that sometimes aligns strongly with the sounds of the sixties, bringing up visions of the Motown bands I heard in my youth on Detroit’s oldies station WOMC 104.3. Then there’s a little dark edge of saxophone a-la The Blues Brothers. I was stuck. Watch this:
Halfway through that day (this past Thursday) I bit the bullet and bought both of their albums on iTunes (since the death of DRM I have no problem doing this,) and would you know that the downloaded deluxe album included a music video? I pop for the deluxe albums when they’re available because I like the extra tracks – I don’t care much for the PDF booklets because I haven’t figured out how to easily get them onto my phone yet, but a music video downloads with the rest of the album so why not?
This video just blew my mind. It’s like Winamp had a baby with the whole band. I can’t not share this one with all my peeps and tweeps! The new album switches up the sound a little bit, brings more of it forward in time while still preserving that strange energy the band has, and yet . . . not completely brings it forward. What I really dig about this video is that it’s a giant standing with one foot in the infancy of the rock music era and the other foot is planted firmly . . . somewhere nearby. This is another one I’m no longer allowed to embed because Warner Music Group says no, so click here to watch this:
Maybe I’m blowing it out of proportion, but music gets me so jazzed! Now I have to go out for a run just to blow off all of this energy, and it’s time for you to go live your adventure.
Until next time, keep listening and exploring; comments go down below!
I haven’t been blogging a lot lately – something I attribute to the fact that I have been working a lot of hours at work, plus wrangling the plumbing of a vintage clawfoot bath tub has not been the easiest of tasks. I should write up a hacker’s guide for that, because now I feel like I’m an expert. In addition to your daily haiku I have contributed nearly zilch to your daily addiction, and so I’m going to try dipping my toes again, because if I shut up, I just might die. It’s like Speed, only I don’t have to deal with Sandra Bullock or Dennis Hopper.
Bully for me.
In case you haven’t heard of Steve’s Music Mix, here’s how it goes down: he hits us with three questions. The intrepid blogger is to boldly set their music player to random (did you see how I split that infinitive? Total badass.) Then you hit play, and the song title that comes up is the answer to your question. A real blogger would follow that up with approximately 5,000 words of clarification and then carefully whittle it down to around 200 or less.
I’m not gonna do that – at least, not that last part. But I’ll do my best to make you happy anyway. 🙂
So, if you didn’t already know, my phone is soaked with surf music. If I don’t get a single lyrical track in weeks of submissions, don’t be surprised – I will, but you shouldn’t be, because if I want to shove someone else’s message down your throat, it’s going to require me to make a playlist of all of my “regular” music (or should I call it “common”?) Anyway, I kind of think of this as “hey, I’m calling the shots now, and I say it’s time to bring on the surf.” Then everyone’s going to know what surf is all about. It’s going to rain surf, because I make it rain. Don’t you know who I am? I’m Surfer Rob, buddy!
Oh, if only. I’m not sure what they were getting at with the title of this one, but I’m thinking along the lines of shaking your money maker, shaking your tailfeather, shaking it up baby, et cetera. If I could shake my Hoover I’d be all over it like a Maaco paint job; and do you ever get the feeling that the blame for all those random pieces of cardboard stuck in the hose just behind the dust canister is assignable to more than just your toddler? Because really, the vacuum makes a much different noise when you have a seven-inch . . . clog of cat hair stuck behind it, what did you think I was going to say??
As the Barenaked Ladies say, If I had a million dollars, I’d buy you a house. The house of death, according to the Barbwires and their fabulous mariachi-flavored horn section. Just delicious.
[edit: it was really late when I wrote this. “House of death” would be Casa del Muerto. Caja is Spanish for box, so in this case it probably refers to a coffin, which they might refer to as just a caja. Still, I’m happy with my original answer; it’s all me.]
But really, I’d probably pay off the house and take the girls on a ripping fun surfing safari to Seattle, Portland, Seal Beach, Huntington Beach, and Baja. Take that, 60-hour-a-week employer! Then I’d come back home, launch my writing career, and hope it takes off before I have to start looking for a job again. A cool mil would buy me at least eight years.
If you want to find any of these tracks, you can find them at the iTunes store or at Double Crown Records, where the Atomic Mosquitos and Barbwires tracks can both be found on the CD with Continental Magazine #16, and the Barbwires track is also on the compilation Brave New Surf (I’m a proud owner of both albums.)
Today I’m going to try out this thing I picked up over at blog bud The Indecicive Eejit’s joint: Steve’s Music Mix. Every week he posts three questions. I’m supposed to put a music player on random and use the titles of the first three songs to answer those questions in order. And I’m not supposed to cheat.
I like not cheating – it’s just that it’s hard to work efficiently when you can’t cheat. So let’s see how this works, eh? I’m at my laptop, which hasn’t been hooked up with any music collection yet, so I’ll use my phone for this right now.
It’s currently 5:16 am and the alarm went off forty-five minutes ago, so do you want to guess what I was doing? Even if I could remember my dreams – and I usually don’t – I’d guess that I wasn’t dreaming of driving in a Malibu with my wife . . . on a bench seat? So is this guy talking about tearing out everything inside the car? Why not just buy an automatic with the gear selector on the steering column? Apparently this guy hasn’t been watching any automotive makeover shows.
I’m doing it because I’m not allowed to cheat, and I already did once by skipping the first Avi Avital song that came up in favor of Cake. Because everyone loves cake – except I tend to favor pie: blueberry pie, cherry pie, pumpkin pie, apple pie . . . now that’s the stuff. I get the feeling that the reason why people don’t actually eat more pie is that they haven’t really figured out how to incorporate it easily into a healthy diet. Can you imagine the sales pitch?
Kellogg’s fruit pies are a healthy way to get your fifteen servings of fruit for breakfast.
Swanson’s pies are a delicious way to get your twelve servings of vegetables and thirty servings of meat without ever leaving the dinner table! Ever.
Oops! Next song – so much for the American dietribe!
Question #3: What will you be doing once you finish this?
Oh, you’re so right! I’m going to do the “pretend I’m normal” thing and go deep undercover (“deep, deep, deep undercover”, to quote Eddie Murphy in Beverly Hills Cop II) to a place where I’ll be trapped for ten and a half straight hours, only to come home to a potentially cold house because the heating and cooling guys are dismantling our furnace today, super! Fortunately, we’re going to be living in the upstairs tonight if that’s the case with the infrared fireplace going. I’m crossing my fingers in the hope that they’ll have a super-simple time getting the old one out and have enough time to get the new one in today. That would be awesome.